Down in the workshop all the elves were makin toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now youre all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized hed been gettin a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere youll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you cant hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin in reindeer guts
Theres the National Guard and the F.B.I.
Theres a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin, the body counts risin
And everyones dyin to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santas doin time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now dont you cry no more tears
Hell be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixens in therapy and Donners still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, shes on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
Theyre talkin bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin gypped
Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized hes gettin a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain
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