Now, let me tell you bout the school cafeteria
Its got all the others beat
It sells over four million burgers a year
Just think, thats almost two pounds of meat
My ice cream sandwich is lukewarm
But my burrito is much too cold
You know a school cafeteria is the only place
That sells artificially colored mold
You know a school cafeteria believes in mass production
They buy those lousy soy beans by the keg
I dont like to complain, but in a school cafeteria
You can buy a taco and get Bubonic Plague
Today in the school cafeteria
They introduced a brand new malt
Its called boysenberry dysentery
Please pass the salt
The tunafish sandwichesll make you ill
The enchiladas are enough to kill
Before you eat, youd better make out your will
In the school cafeteria today
After sixty-three years in the business
Our cook still hasnt got The Knack
And all the food in the school cafeteria
Comes from CARE packages that were sent back
Feel your arteries growing hard
As you eat another healthy spoonful of lard
Its no wonder that the food is so gross
The health department is afraid to come close
So everybody better hold your nose
In the school cafeteria today
So listen very closely, all you girls and guys
Heres a little message to the wise
Youd better not try the chili surprise
In the school cafeteria today, oh yeah
In the school cafeteria today
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