Its been one week since we got to see
Cheatin lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That Ive been watchin a bit too much Jerry Springer
Holy cow, dyou see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all
And Jerrys in the middle tryin to be the referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerrys next guest
And its a slugfest
Cause its her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack
Its like "When Animals Attack"
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, thats how it goes
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver
Theyre always swearin, cursin, kickin butt, and pointin blame
On the air? They dont care, theyve got no shame
There was one guy who Im sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts
Its been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still havent got the blood off the wall
Its been three days since the bitter fued
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
Im spendin way too much time on that Jerry Springer
Baby, Ive been sleepin with your sister
Oh? Well, which one?
All of them
Oh! Well, Ive been sleepin with your best friend Jake!
Yah? Well, well me too!
Oh!
And Ive sleepin with your dog Woofie!
(barking)
Woofie, you b-tch!
Well, Im also sleepin with your pet goat!
(baaahhing)
That goat doesnt love you!
Once you start watchin, theres just no stoppin
Your brain shuts down, then your IQs droppin
Jerrys the king of confrontation
Hes a sensation
He puts the sin in syndication
Its totally worthless, like a bad check
Its like a train wreck
Dont wanna stare but you cant look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin higher everyday
If youve seen the show, well then you know
Its just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and theyre lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then its BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well its the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin hair, throwin chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just cant
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one
Its been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some losers wife said shes shtill dating twenty guys
Three days wince he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That Ive been watchin a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin my time on that Jerry Springer
Ive got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger
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