Uh huh ... extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me
Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame
No one came
Just us eatin all alone
You said, "Take the pizza home"
"No sense lettin all this go to waste"
So then I faced
Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese round the clock
Is gettin me blocked
And I sure dont care
For irregularity
Tell me
Whyd you have to go and make me so constipated?
Cause right now Id do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no
I was feelin pretty down
Till my girlfriend came around
Were just so alike in every way
I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me
Who would have guessed
Her family crest
Id suddely spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
Its just like the one on me
Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
No no no no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no
I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe Id unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide
Said not to stand
But thats a demand
That I couldnt meet
I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me
Whyd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now ... Cant eat, I cant breathe, I cant snore
I cant belch or yodel anymore
Cant spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh no
Whyd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Cant blink, I cant cough, I cant sneeeze
But my neck is enjoyin a pleasant breeze now
Havent been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no
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